we beat you in the streets

boxingglovecrew @ 2009-12-15T13:10:00

2009-12-15T17:10:32Z

Frustration is at an all time high

boxingglovecrew @ 2009-12-10T10:49:00

2009-12-10T14:50:00Z

I have developed this terrible habit of giving people the finger when I think they can't see me. Usually over the phone or from behind a closed door, but then occasionally it'll wind up that I'm flipping off someone off through my window, or as they turn to walk away.

Add it to my terrible habit pile, hey?

One of my very best friends is moving in with his girlfriend and it makes me want to wrap them up and hug them until they explode. It also makes me want to wrap myself in blankets and watch reruns of criminal minds.

Add THAT to my terrible habit pile too.

boxingglovecrew @ 2009-12-01T14:50:00

2009-12-01T18:50:22Z

A while ago I submitted an email from my mom into Postcards from yo Momma and I forgot to check, but it was posted! My mom is real funny. And so considerate, you know? Earlier this week she sent me an email that just said "It's always sunny in philly is back on. They are the most vile group of people. I love it. Curb your enthusiasm is back on too. Take it easy and get some rest. Drink lots of water. love you."

Anyway, universe, what else is new? I burnt my hand on a pot handle this weekend and now I'm wearing a big bandage around it. I look like a boxer. Don't be fooled - I punch way softer than a boxer, though.

So, this morning I woke up and wandered around my apartment in a daze. Opened my advent calendar, made tea, stared out the front window. When I was just about to leave, I walked down the stairs and - gasp! What's this!? A mixed cd for me! Dropped into my mailbox over night! Almost as exciting as getting flowers (not quite as exciting, but almost as exciting)! Problem is, I tried before I left and I couldn't get it to play for me. It makes me a little nervous, not knowing what is on it....Sure, it could be love songs, but it could also be tapes of my conversations in an attempt to blackmail me. Or a compilation of death ballads to play while I'm getting hacked into pieces by a killer.

While it's nice to think that I could have a secret lil admirer... it's terrifying to think there could be a secret assassin that may or may not be out to get me.

boxingglovecrew @ 2009-11-18T15:05:00

2009-11-18T19:05:16Z

Things are better.

I will see Minus the Bear tomorrow night and the night after that I will be lounging on an expensive bed in a luxury hotel in Downtown Boston. I get to see Christmas trees (maybe even the christmas tree lighting) and buy new clothes and eat burritos and drink wine with Bostonians and say 'wahddah' instead of water.

Work is less stressful and more cool, my new boss rules pretty hard and all this week I've been avoiding going downstairs because I embarassed myself last week but I went today and they gave me the whole 'Where have you beeeeeen?!' so that made me feel better too.

Love has been laborious, but I guess that's not the worst thing in the world.

I want fondue and I want to go to NYC.

boxingglovecrew @ 2009-11-12T16:32:00

2009-11-12T20:32:32Z

I hate my life so much more than usual today.

Tonight when I get home from Pier 1 I fully intend on laying in bundle in bed, eating ice cream with chocolate sauce and sprinkles, and watching Grey's Anatomy.

If I can just survive until the ice cream, tomorrow is bound to be better.

boxingglovecrew @ 2009-11-09T13:12:00

2009-11-09T17:23:13Z

I may not be able to tweet and I may not be able to facebook, but livejournal, I'll always have you.

I cried at Adventureland last night. Hard. I worry that I might have fallen in love with that movie, or at the very least latched on to it in some unhealthy and obsessive way. I bought myself flowers. I knitted. Read Tom Waits. Read about Billy Bragg. Listened to Lifetime. Watched Grumpy Old Men. Garfield. Roseanne. Robin Hood.

Finding it a little hard to breathe. I think I might have sleep apnea and I whether I'm awake or asleep, I think it might be closing in.

boxingglovecrew @ 2009-10-28T08:55:00

2009-10-28T12:07:38Z

I woke up this morning with this feeling - this feeling that although I don't know exactly what I'm looking for, I'm acutely aware that I'm was having a real hard time finding it. I feel like that is pretty true to the rest of my life.

I don't know if I'm looking for too much, or selling myself too short, but whatever I'm doing has left me feeling off balance. I often feel like my mind and body are out of synch with the reality of how I am living. I'm not sure how you remedy this. In the movies, I'd pack a tiny bag and move to a far away place. I'd meet some elderly and eccentric next door neighbour who'd take me under their wing, and I'd wind up marrying their handyman and living happily ever after. In other movies, I'd get gently hit by a car or some other minor tragedy and while recovering, I would suddenly have my eyes opened to the beauty all around me, at which point I'd fall in love with some wacky psych patient who isn't crazy at all, but really just has an appreciation for the way that things should be. So....that's how the movies handle it. How do you handle it in reality?

Clearly I've been spending too much time alone, curled up on the couch, watching julia roberts wine and dine inside our fuzzy little tv. Maybe I should change that, first and foremost.

And as if that's not the worst of it, the ladybug living in my bedroom with me passed away. RIP Gloria.

overcoming crankiness in 7 steps or less

2009-10-20T15:19:43Z

1. Search out affordable vacations that you can use as a secret backup plan for your christmas holidays.
2. Look at cute photos of wet, grumpy kittens in bathtubs.
3. Shorten words in that adorably cute way that you know is sending shivers down the spine of every last co-workers (eg 'lunch in ten minnies!')
4. Fire off another email to the online shopping locale of your choice, complaining about shipping fees to Canada while secretly hoping that they just cut you a break so you can buy that $39 dress you've been eyeing.
5. Feasibility report to determine likelihood that you could take a 'working vacation' to nearby province, where you would carry in a briefcase full of doritos and video games to the hotel (with pool) of your choice.
6. Delegate your work, so that even if you wind up completing very little of what you had planned for the day, it'll look like you did that much more.
7. Eat Halloween candy and scowl lots.

boxingglovecrew @ 2009-10-19T11:11:00

2009-10-19T14:11:23Z

My bed is like a cloud

boxingglovecrew @ 2009-10-07T13:09:00

2009-10-07T16:21:39Z

Past 24 hours

-lost a jenga game or two
-saw my name in print, right next to the words 'is a real superstar!' NO LIE
-won a game of tribond
-partially committed myself to hosting a games night where my only confirmed guests are a 75 year old couple
-ate falafel
-watched dexter
-painted bedroom
-giggled a lot, talkin' on the telephone
-made plans to critique camp nowhere against Ernest goes to camp to settle the age old question 'which of these two fine films are better?'
-talked zombies
-talked fiddle music
-talked birdwatching
-played with kitties
-finished my scarf!
-considered blood tranfusion designed to merge coffee directly and permanently into my bloodstream

september 11 1988

2009-09-11T12:14:24Z

I used to sometimes see you, on my way home from work. I'd walk off the bridge and there you'd be, biking uphill past the cars stopped in traffic. I used to look for your red and white striped tshirts and your long legs pedaling. We'd talk endlessly and excitedly about potlucks and badminton. We'd laugh and we'd make plans, always for next weekend. You called me buddy often enough that I worried you'd forget my real name.

There are certain things, little things, that I will never think of without thinking of you. There are certain places, fun places, that I will never go without thinking of you. If I could tell you one thing, it'd be this: Boy oh boy, you are missed.

I'd tell you that garfin' sure isn't the same without you.

mine

2009-07-30T12:19:41Z

Last night I knocked over a lamp. The bulb shattered under my feet, adding layers of glass shard and mercury gas to the existing layer of dirt on the kitchen floor.

It wasn't the bulb breaking that amazed me, it was that it stayed lit. If anything, the remnants of the shattered bulb burnt even more brightly than normal. As Shaun was reaching for the cord, I worried that even without power it might continue to glow. I thought back to my television that would turn on without prompting, and my bedroom door that would open late at night, without anyone there to turn the handle.

I wonder if it's my apartment that's possessed, or if it's just me.

boxingglovecrew @ 2009-07-07T08:31:00

2009-07-07T11:43:05Z

It's the not knowing, that's what's killing me.

boxingglovecrew @ 2009-06-19T17:34:00

2009-06-19T20:49:19Z

I have a bottle of champagne in my kitchen that stares at me every time I open the cupboard door. It's half the size of a regular bottle and it has a little gold foil cap. I bought it on new years eve but my night turned out so terribly that I couldn't bring myself to drink it. Instead, I decided that I would save it until I felt better. It was my big plan for the whole month of January, that I'd get over that hump and then I'd feel terrific again, and that my tiny bottle of champagne would be one of the first things that I'd do to celebrate.

It's almost July and that little bottle is still waiting for me to come around.

Letters from camp

2009-06-10T11:38:03Z

Last night I slept awkwardly on top of a pile of pillows. My discomfort might have had something to do with settling into bed just after drinking half a bottle of wine, or maybe it was more an actualization of what's been circling around my headspace for the past little while.

I had a dream about being on a farm, and there was a cow there that kept trying to kick Katie. I remember it being stressful, but for some weird reason I woke up laughing. Have you ever woken up laughing before? Regardless of how funny your dream may have been, it still makes you look insane.

Wow, I think that I might be cranky. I wish that I didn't feel so lousy this morning because I've really got my day cut out for me.

boxingglovecrew @ 2009-05-30T01:45:00

2009-05-30T04:54:50Z

I am up late tonight. One fourty five! I've been feeling low lately, and my daily anxiety causes me to rise and shine at like six thirty or seven am. My early mornings cause me to fall asleep at like eleven, so this is the first night in probably three weekends that I've been out past like twelve thirty.

It's nice. I went to a sports bar tonight and I talked a whoooooole lot. My throat is actually a little bit sore. We sat with a guy who was trying to text his girlfriend and he meant to write 'you're sexy' but it came out 'you're rude', and he sent it anyway. He'll have some explainin' to do tomorrow, hey? A little while later, he got a phone call that went a little something like this: 'Darren, hey bro. What's up? Trouble at the Pogue?! I'll be right there'. He immediately hung up and then suddenly he was history.

I also met a drunk old man who became irate when he thought kate was taking his photo, and then irate again when I told him that I didn't think that the orlando magic were the shining kings of basketball that he thought they were, and that low and behold, shaq wasn't even on their team anymore.

Also we watched tons of twin peaks and kate's friend Chris showed me some good youtube videos and richard said I remind him of a cross between maria bamford and dee from It's always sunny in Philadelphia. I will probably delete this in the morning but right now I'm a little drunk and I mostly just want something to read in the morning that'll make me smile.

boxingglovecrew @ 2009-05-25T01:49:00

2009-05-25T04:54:16Z

I had a pretty terrific day. I slept in late, ate Darrell's fries and theatre popcorn, made some new friends and saw some great shows.

Nothing would end it better than a hot fudge sundae. Or well...there's not much would end it better than a hot fudge sundae.

boxingglovecrew @ 2009-05-06T23:04:00

2009-05-07T02:06:51Z

I just have to share: http://little-people.blogspot.com/

It's been a long time since the internet has made me this happy!

boxingglovecrew @ 2009-05-03T19:09:00

2009-05-03T22:13:01Z

I am exhausted and counting down the seconds until I can wind myself up in my blankets and hug my pillows until they hug me back. I need hugs today.

boxingglovecrew @ 2009-04-20T22:48:00

2009-04-21T01:52:12Z

I have composed just short of one billion lists in the last week. None of them are helping me to figure out what the fuck I'm doing with my life.

I decided that maybe I just have writer's block, so to get the ball rolling, I'm just making lists of anything and everything that I can think of. I just thought of one called 'Three favorite things in my line of vision' and later I'll probably work on my ongoing 'Catalog of food in the fridge (subdivided into 'mine', and 'not mine')'.

boxingglovecrew @ 2009-04-03T11:09:00

2009-04-03T14:10:09Z

I could make myself sick, wondering about you.

whoa

2009-03-30T13:10:54Z

For today, this is the place that I'd most like to go.

boxingglovecrew @ 2009-03-30T01:38:00

2009-03-30T04:47:47Z

I'm tired but I can't sleep.

I am having a terribly hard time writing anything down. It reminds me of the time that tim ate mushrooms and tried to write down the meaning of life, but in the morning when he read his notes it had already stopped making sense.

Here's what I did in Toronto:
ate food
saw dinosaurs
got ticketed
sleepover party mania
bought shoes
bought shirts
saw music. Heard music? both I guess.
enjoyed waffles (FINALLY)
played pinball
drank wine
super snacked
grocery shopped
enjoyed my first veggie burger! I always find them too pasty, this was the first burger that I liked as much or more than a real cheeseburger. Monumental!
Saw a guy from video on trial. This wasn't a highlight, because reminiscing about it just reminds me that the most famous person that I saw on my trip was someone from the absolutely terrible programming that airs on MuchMusic.
Probably other things too, but I just needed to write something before I implode. I should hit the hay soon. I'm wired on sugar and anxiety.

boxingglovecrew @ 2009-03-10T11:29:00

2009-03-10T14:30:15Z

sigh

boxingglovecrew @ 2009-03-07T12:04:00

2009-03-07T16:09:40Z

Worst quote to ever appear in The Metro landed in this weekend's edition(and this is a hard title to capture, I know):

"He's dead...but he's not dead in my heart." - Widow, looking back fondly on her marriage to a fallen soldier.

In other news, last night in my dream, there was a guy with really crazy looking sneakers that inflated underneath him into a SPEEDBOAT! I have spent most of the morning trying to figure out where the hell something like that comes from.